Yay! It's Another Chronicle 💃🏽

Your disappearing writer is back!

Hey Royal, what's good?

I know you’re not expecting this because it’s been a while since I wrote to you but can you be mad at me? No.

My people say "If you use your right hand to scold a child, you'd use the left to embrace the same child" and I say that because there's nowhere that you're going to push me to.

OOPL, Abeokuta, Ogun State.

This might be a long read (to make up for missed posts) but at the same time, it may not even be very long. Let’s just get into it.

Life imitating art

Numbers

I recently applied for a VA role and was told to expect an aptitude test. I honestly hoped it would be like the verbal and quantitative reasoning tests I used to do in primary school but who was I kidding?

I looked forward to the test in vain until one Sunday morning when I saw it hiding in my Spam folder within 24 hours of the deadline. Always check your spam!

I set up my workspace and started tackling the tests.

Everything was going well until I realized there were lots of mathematical questions.

My first thought was to forget about it and give up because why did I come so far in this employment process to come and see math? Please pray against village people because why? Is it not this same math that I had an E and D abi F sef in during WAEC and NECO?

At the end of the test and to my expectation, I failed and that was the end of that job.

Before you say sorry or advise me to learn how to solve sums, know that I am quite good with numbers. I just don't get math as a subject; fractions, possibilities, algebra etc. Se fe pa mi ni?*

I'm a fan of numbers in a way that puzzles and amuses me. They have a way of weaving themselves into every fabric of our lives and mark moments and memories, big and small, in a way that words can only translate.

For example, I do a daily calculation of my spending and ensure I account for every kobo. I also have dates of pleasant and unpleasant events at my beck such as birthdays, anniversaries, death, separation, reunion etc.

Numbers also give hope and bring excitement, the kind that I feel as I countdown to the day I’m getting married. And, I’m certainly not alone.

The numbers in a credit alert, the date on a visa, the countdown to receiving a delivery, the duration of a trip, an extended deadline, and much more are a few of the ways that numbers bring us hope.

So, even though I may stumble over math questions, I am consoled in the way that numbers help me carry emotions and how each digit often tells a story. And, if you're wondering who's going to solve the kids’ assignment, you already know who.

The picture is detailed

Windows

What do windows mean to you?

One night at the Purple Room during COVID-19, I was ill and having difficulty sleeping so, I took some prescribed meds and soon after, I knocked out.

Not sure how long I was asleep but when I opened my eyes, there was a silhouette of a man at the window staring at me and attempting to rob me.

He had passed a long pole into my room and was drawing my gadgets towards himself.

I screamed, he ran.

The next morning, I packed up some of my stuff and left my Purple Room only to return weeks later.

Months later, there was an armed robbery in the same building and the robbers spent an unhealthy amount of time behind my window as they shot rounds of bullet into the sky while I held my breath and prayed to God for safety.

I used to enjoy looking out of the window to see the stars but due to these events and a few similar experiences, I don't look outside windows at night again.

Maybe I'm just scared and I shouldn't be or, maybe I'd rather not hallucinate to an untimely death.

Abeokuta, Ogun State.

Traveling

I used to hate traveling but can you even believe that?

Well, I was the girl who’d gag nonstop and almost barf on passengers during a road trip. I’d also slow down the jourey because the best way to handle the barfing situation was to park the vehicle and let me out so I could let it all out.

But that changed a while ago and I am grateful for the privilege to travel without limitations.

I still gag but I’m more in control now.

I mention travel because the major reason why I’ve been off this space is because I’ve been traveling and exploring southwestern Nigeria and here are a few things I have to say about my trip.

• There so many beggars everywhere. Also, why ere they insulting me for not giving out my money? E gba mi keh?

• If you don’t have business outside, please stay inside. I lost count of how many times I wondered if the sun was trying to melt me off the surface of the earth. Tori oloun!

• Actually, heat will almost eliminate you inside too but atleast, half bread.

• I found out that some residents of Makoko stay on land and I could harldy comprehend why it’s only the ones on water that the media a.k.a Social Media Content Creators focus on.

• Street food is great but the fear of food poisoning is greater.

• Learn how to read maps for your own good it’s better than being declared wanted because you didn’t know the difference between East and South.

• There are so many beautiful places to see in Nigeria even if you’re on a budget, and if you’re abroad and you’re not traveling, why?

Iyake Lake, Ado-Awaye, Oyo State.

Well, I hope you did not miss me too much and if you did, tell me how much in the comments.

Till the next chronicle,

Stay Royal!