Wedding Planning Chronicles: Mistakes to Avoid and What to Remember
There's a vendor for every budget.
Hey Royal,
In the last post, I shared how we set our dates and handled the first steps of wedding planning. Now, let’s dive into the details—what it cost, the mistakes we made, and the lessons we learned along the way.
Marriage Registry Requirements
For our civil wedding, the marriage registry had specific requirements:
Documents:
One ring each.
A Bible or Quran, depending on your religion.
Two passport photographs each.
Names, addresses, DOBs, ages, and occupations of both parties.
Witnesses: Six signees were required (though typically, it’s two witnesses).
Registry staff gifts: One pack of canned malt, a pack of any type of biscuits, and snacks for ten people.
The time slots were between 9 a.m. and 1 p.m. on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. We chose a Tuesday.
The total cost? ₦12,100 (₦2,000 fee plus a ₦10,100 deposit paid directly into the registry's account).
Outfits and Comfort
I made two civil wedding outfits because the first didn’t turn out as I envisioned. And despite my long-standing resistance, I carried a bouquet in the end! A small one though.
Tip: Let your dress fit you, not the other way around. The same goes for your shoes. If they’re uncomfortable, why endure unnecessary pain?
Essential Wedding Hacks
Brides, gather every item you need for your big day in one place beforehand to avoid any last-minute chaos.
Include things that can come in handy like a basic sewing kit, lash and nail glues, plus first-aid necessities.
Always have a backup fan for the stage where the couple will sit. If the venue’s air conditioning isn’t sufficient, it can save the day.
Appoint a reliable friend (mine was Best) to oversee the day’s activities. Everyone, especially vendors, should report to them to reduce your stress. I’m sure my alagas (traditional wedding anchors) hated to see Best coming.
Trad: Invitations and Guest Management
We explored wedding website options like Canva, Joy, and The Knot, ultimately settling on The Knot. My brother, Hameed, designed our invitations, which we sent along with the wedding website link for RSVPs.
Follow up with your guests. Your wedding isn’t their only priority; people forget things faster than expected.
I wanted a kid-free event but didn’t get it. While a few kids still attended, it was manageable since it was only a handful.
Seating charts are helpful if you’re having an intimate ceremony. They may not be practical for larger events, but my wedding guests were about 180 so, it worked.
The Morning Of
The big day finally came and I had barely slept cause I was finishing the piece of poetry I wanted to read to my husband. It wasn’t an afterthought, I had just struggled to put my words together for months.
By daybreak, I started getting ready and I got very hungry. So, I ate (trust me, eat!). I’m quite certain someone has a picture or video of me tearing at bread that morning.
My room was filled with friends while I dressed up, and while I didn’t mind, it’s something to think about if you prefer calmness.
Also, have a music playlist handy to calm your nerves while you prepare for the series of events to take place.
Vendors and Lessons Learned
Hire bouncers and provide them with a guest list to curb gate-crashing.
Have a professional MC who can engage the audience and keep to time. Ours, recommended by Ray of The BAKE House, was excellent.
Hire a professional DJ and, if possible, a live band. Both can elevate the atmosphere, but ensure they’re experienced and understand your vibe. My DJ almost ruined our bridal party entrance, but thankfully, it was fixed, and we made a grand entrance to Nneoma by The Musical Being.
Hire a storyteller, not just a photographer/videographer. Your memories deserve someone who can capture the emotions, not just the moments.
Ps: It took five months for my wedding photographer to deliver our frames and album and I still don’t have the videos.
My aso-oke vendor stressed me with late deliveries and silly excuses even though the quality of his job was great. I’d suggest telling vendors like this a different timeline for your event.
The hotel we stayed in at the event centre was a lesson learned. While it was convenient to avoid transportation issues, the condition of most rooms left much to be desired.
There were broken items, dirty fridges, leaking roofs, and missing essentials like towels and foot mats. I had been shown clean rooms during my inspection, but the reality was different.
I sincerely apologize to my friends who were inconvenienced by this.
Other Key Takeaways
Skip the pressure of traditional aso ebi if it doesn’t suit you. We chose a colour scheme for everyone and made gele and fila for our friends. Meanwhile, my mom’s friends turned up in aso ebi.
Book a car (or arrange for one) to take you home after the wedding. Even if you have a car, you might want to hire a driver. So, plan for this detail to avoid any last-minute stress.
I strongly recommend doing a cake test before the big day if you’re using a baker that you’re not familiar with their work to ensure both taste and aesthetics match your expectations. I didn’t but things could have gone south.
We had a “distance” wedding and to save costs, both families cooked together. My mom, a former caterer, led the charge with her friends and ex-apprentices.
We also catered dinner for friends the night before and breakfast on the morning of the wedding. Thank God we had this planned as the hotel condition made their food undesirable for guests.
Things I Should’ve Done Differently
I didn’t hire a professional makeup artist because I wasn’t too invested in makeup, but I wish I had. A pre-wedding trial would have been helpful too so if you can, get one.
For a very ridiculous reason, I also didn’t arrange for extra hands to assist my friends with their makeup and gele. This oversight meant some of them had to leave the venue to find alternatives and I felt very bad.
I skipped a spa session before the wedding. If you have time, it’s worth considering. It’s not too late after the big day though.
Our Story Captured in a Hashtag
Our hashtag, #FromHike2Hitched, was a no-brainer.
It perfectly encapsulated our journey from strangers hiking Idanre Hills together to lovers facing forever together. And, seeing our guests use it made it even more special.
Final Word
Planning a wedding is a whirlwind of decisions, emotions, and surprises, but with the right approach, you can make it all work.
Also, there’s a vendor for every budget. Take the time to find what and who works for you. And above all, stand your ground.
My cake vendor tried to convince me to go for something dramatic, but I kept it simple—and both cakes turned out beautifully.
In the next two posts, I’ll share the best memories from all the events, the heartfelt moments, and the lessons I gathered from other brides.
I’d love to hear your thoughts!
What stood out to you in this post? Maybe it’s a tip you’ll share with a friend or something you found interesting. Let me know in the comments below!
Until the next Chronicle,
Stay Royal.